Here's wishing a Merry Christmas to you
Not too many  sweets - but not too few
With nice full tummies and Christmas sacks too
With friends and games and plenty to do
With hopes of a great big bone to chew
Good  it's a nice wide chimney flue
Then as the night turns sparkly blue
Cuddle up tight my dears, one, two
So Santa can come and sneak silently through... :o)

Merry Christmas and seasons greetings to everyone all over the world
from me, Jake and Watson (whose eyes are positively shining with doggy excitement)

Watson the Dog’s lament

BEFORE

TEETH, they said, was what would be done

Nice white gnashers and that would be fun

They’d see me coming in the dark

I wouldn’t even have to bark

Just smile at the girly dogs out and about

I’d score in a flash, of that there’s no doubt

But when the vet she put me under

My romantic dreams were torn asunder

Yes my teeth are shiny and white

But while I was sleeping, out like a light,

The cowards went doggedly on to point two

Snoring flat out there was nowt I could do

BUZZZZZ and my fur piled up on the floor

I tried to wake up and make for the door

But out came the needle, back out for the count

The trimmer kept going – a dreadful amount

What now would I do when hunting for girls?

Without heaps and heaps of soft Schnauzer curls?

Well the doggies I meet are not very kind

I try to look butch like I don’t really mind

But they giggle and then it comes out in a rush

Your tail, they smirk, is a toilet brush

Watson, my man, where is all your hair?

Don’t you know your tummy and bits are all bare?

But there’s one good thing to come out of the day

When the vet went and shaved all my fur away

My collar’s too loose so, HA, if I try

I can wriggle right out of it easy as pie

And when I set eyes on a nice sexy poodle

I give it the slip and shoot off and CANOODLE!

COWABUNGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AFTER: We still love you, Watson and it WILL grow back.

E is for...

I guess if your little ones like elephants, they might like another poem for bedtime from the Teddies' ABC

E is for Elsie, who's so elegant
Riding up high on a cute elephant
Look, Aunty Em. Hey what do you know...
I can twiddle and twirl on just one tippy toe!
Wise Aunty Em thinks the tricks are too risky
But Elsie just laughs - she loves being frisky.
She's been lucky so far, to tell you the truth.
But I'm sure before long she'll have chipped a front tooth!

Rock on... with a poem or two

Here's a poem about a rocking horse called Neddy and his friends Fred and Ted. It's one of a whole alphabet that I wrote a long time ago to accompany the lovely illustrations in Sunna Blædel's 'Bamserne's ABC' (Teddies' ABC). It seems a pity they only got read to my own children. So here goes...

F is for frolicking,
fun and good friends,
Rocking horse racing,
Look out for the bends,

Gee up, Old Neddy.
Fred, Ted, hold on tight,
We'll be rocking and riding
far into the night.

Faster and faster,
Just tug on his ears.
And the best thing of all?
You don't have to change gears!

And here's Jake's favourite about a goose named Harry who belongs to a snowy white teddy called Hannah:

H is for happily honking Harry,
He's honking because he wants a carry,
But Hannah's dress is lacy and white,
And goosey footprints wouldn't look right.
So she'll give him his supper and sing him a song,
Plug up your ears 'cos he sings along!

If someone out there knows a friendly publisher, you may one day get to see the lovely pictures too. In the meantime, you are welcome to draw your own illustrations and pin them up.

Have fun!